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Sunday, January 12th, 2003
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I've decided to stop writing in this journal. I've come to the conclusion the only place I can be myself is exactly that...by myself. Apparently when I am myself I offend others and often the wrong impression of me rubs off on all those who glance. Not only has my journal gotten myself in trouble many of times, it's gotten my friends in trouble as well (for knowing me of course).
Yes, I have done crazy things in my life. Am I a wild irresponsible person? No. I am strong to believe my head is finally firmly planted on my shoulders and it's not going anywhere. I have made poor decisions in the past but that's how you learn, no? Not a single one of you can look at yourself and say you've never sinned.
My apologies to everyone. If you don't like it, don't snoop. I'll go be myself right here in my humble home...but only when I'm here alone of course. Letting other people see 'me' seems to cause too much damn trouble for me.
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Comments: Read 15 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, January 11th, 2003
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*sniffles* I forgot how much I loved this movie... Titanic.
I put it in when there was nothing on the one channel I get (NBC).
...Jack Dawson reminds me SO much of BJ!!!!
Speaking of BJ--he died his hair black and cut it! He looks so ubercute and actually asian now! *hehe*
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, January 6th, 2003
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| Time: | 5:17 pm. |
| Mood: |  chipper. |
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I have two words for Bauder College:
SUCK IT!!!!!
You tried so hard to keep me from transfering schools. You tried SO damn hard to make my life a living hell. Guess what! I SURPASSED your group of giant bumbling barbie idiots and I have successfully registered at a new school. In fact, I got IN STATE TUITION! You tried to keep me from going by holding my transcript with the excuse you were out of official paper. If one shows up in person your story drasticly changes. Especially if those that show up are my mother and stepfather.
I'm also getting instate tuition. Daddy cooperated with filling out the forms as long as he'd get to claim me on taxes this year. I will be awarded $3,500 in loans which will be more than enough to pay for the instate tuition.
I've also decided I'm going to get my premed. Graduate-work for a few years and send BJ through school-then go to med school. I would love to be a psychiatrist. I want to study the brain and how mental disorders/drugs affect the chemical balance.
I'm happy.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, January 1st, 2003
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Remy came over and hung out today. He needed a place to sleep (it was 10am and he still hadn't... ^^;). Jungle was with him. Jungle was trippin'....*rofl* my hide dolls were wiggin him OUT. So yeah apparently hide has a very powerful stare... I came back home when we went out and all of them were turned around and facing the wall. *rofl*
Well, new years wasn't too great...but we're having a little party tonight to make up for it! Come over everyone!!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 31st, 2002
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You should just SEE my kandykid ass right now. Hopefully I'll take lots o' pics tonight so you actually can ^o^ ahaha i'm SO tacky but so irresistably cute!
uncle cid isn't coming *sniffles* oh well, next weekend perhaps.
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Monday, December 30th, 2002
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Saturday, December 28th, 2002
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This apartment doesn't get enough sunlight. I think that's one reason I've been really 'blah' lately. Not to mention the inside of the apartment doesn't have lighting at all *lol* We come in and theres NO lights cept for in the kitchen and bathroom...even if there are switches all over the place. We bought some cheap floor lamps but they don't give off a whole lotta light. Oh well, I guess this means Elly will be buying a tanning bed packet so she can get her healthy dose of UV rays!
Went to the doctor for a stomach ache today, came out with a perscription for prozac. Oh well, I won't complain. I needed some anyways :P It's stressful to move o.o
I'm also a big ball of gatorade. I'm having trouble chewing anything and if I eat anymore soup, yogurt, or mashed taters I'm gonna puke like theres no tomorrow :P I managed to chew a burger from burger king (just the meat). But that didn't satisfy me. Soooo looks like I'll be pissing gatorade for a long while.
Haven't gotten my shot either :\ I need to... But every doc I go to won't give it to me. They say it's against policy (must be some damn new thing...). I have the perscription filled. The needle is with it too. All I need is for some damn nurse to poke me in the arm. I'm about ready to do the damn thing myself. If a diabetic came in needing an insulin shot, would they refuse them??
...okay so thats a TAD more extreme than just needing birth control...but hey. It's a really dumb policy imo. But I talked to the doctor and he said I could get it next week and be safe. Hey he said it. If I have a baby it's his fault, I'll sue to the point where I might be able to afford to raise the damn thing ;)
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Friday, December 27th, 2002
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Ok the teeth still haven't really bothered me...
but I'm convinced I got a stomach virus from a family member.
Someone just shoot me
I can't stand being sick
I'm gonna make BJ take me to the doctor when he gets home. Until I'm gonna lay down and die.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 24th, 2002
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*lol*
So mom wanted me to open 2 presents so I could have something nice to wear to the family xmas dinner tonight.
She bought SO much stuff she forgot what was what (even though she had a numbered list ^^;).
I opened the wrong thing 3 times.
Haha. First thing I opened was a white UFO skirt--which was absolutely beautiful but wasn't what she was wanting me to open.
Second thing I opened was what she wanted me to, but they were a size too big. Pink Camo UFOs. One would think Pink camo UFOs would be in female sizing, but alas, they were guys so too big ^^; She's gonna send em back for smalls.
The third thing I opened was a gorgeous sweater I had picked out when we went Xmas shopping. It's white and just...gorgeous! ^^
But I still needed a pair of pants to wear so she let me open a pair of lavender UFOs *lol* And here she was apologizing a few days ago that she didn't get me enough for Xmas. Every damn present under that tree has either my name or BJs name on it! *lol* I don't know where she got the money to do a big Xmas like this. She helped us with rent on the apartment, utility deposits, and all those presents o.o There must atleast be 100 presents under that tree for the family. I'm not joking either!
I love my mommy *huggles*
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Monday, December 23rd, 2002
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I made it. I'm alive. I still cna't feel anything in my mouth and I'm groggy. I've been out for about 6 hours though! The doc said I shouldn't have too much trouble. Only one should bother me and that's cause it was completely sidways. He gave me some strong advil, some percocet, and said to call him if it still hurts tomorrow. ...but they haven't even hurt yet! *lol*
aww i love being home with my kitties. i can't wait til me n bj can afford to get one!!! (anyone got $350 for the pet deposit?? o.O)
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 22nd, 2002
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waaaaaah
i get my wisdom teeth out in the morning ;-; Mesa so scared!!!!!
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 20th, 2002
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We got moved in! It's such a great place, and so easy to find! We don't really have room for a dining table but we have an open bar so we're just gonna get some bar stools. I don't think we're really going to be having dinner parties anyways...
But yeah we have almost everything we need except for food! Theres still a little bit of unpacking to do but that's okay! I have the little fiberoptic xmas tree in the corner with a dalmation on top and dalmation covered presents underneath ^^ I decided the colours are going to be dark green, dark blue, and silver. Because this matches the couch *heh* We don't have the asian feel (cept for the kneeling table) but that's okay because we're broke :P As we go along we'll add to it.
Anyone ever heard of DJ Clue :? I met a really cool guy on xbox and after a few times playing he told me he was a DJ for a living. I asked his name and he said DJ Clue. Well of course I had never heard of him because he apparently is a hiphop DJ. Buttt I looked on the internet and he's actually got two cds released o.o Apparently he's decently known in the hiphop world. Heh my friend seems to know his stuff! But I wish I had proof to link the two together *lol* He says he starts filming new shows of... gah... can't remember the name. Digital Attack maybe... but it's a show on MTV. Apparently all the show lately is reruns and it comes on in the morning. He says he's allowed to actually do shoutouts when they start filming before (apparently they were picky and never let him in the past) and he's gonna do Xbox shoutouts *lol*
I wouldn't doubt that famous people play. Especially rappers/djs. I mean... they have celebrity tournaments afterall. He said he signed up for one in that NFL game.
I should drive up to NC and meet him *rofl* Or make him come down here!
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 16th, 2002
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Say you had to make a choice..
Orgasms or video games. Would you rather have a life with no orgasms and filled with video games... or a life with orgasms and no video games at all?
Think!
...BJ and I really have no idea what we'd do. I think we'd just fall over and die on the spot.
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, December 14th, 2002
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Sooo... I have the chance to go to E3 this year... the only thing is lacking the cash. I actually have access to press passes from a friend of mine that owns a business. You know how fucking cool it would be to go to E3? Soo I have a proposition. To all my friends in the Los Angeles area... I will get you a free E3 pass if you let me stay at your house and you drive us back and forth ;) E3 will be at the LA convention center and Its May 14-16. Now I'm pretty sure I can get a 3rd pass... I just can't afford a hotel room ^^; But then again if someone from away from the LA area wants to chip in major on a hotel room, then I can see about getting them the pass instead of the local. Do you have any idea how FREAKIN' COOL it would be...to actually go to E3 :? I would shit myself..
On another note. We started playing Mech Warrior: Dark Ages today! Awesome miniature game. Hehe I won all but one time. The Unique Atlas really does a kick ass job. Haha BJ was losing faith in himself but he finally won the last time!
The Xmas play at home was awesome! Mom does such a good job at writing them... I'm trying to talk her into getting it published. Saw Lee again too, I had invited him. He looked really skinny but aside from that not much different. (well his goatee was longer and everyone knows my antifacial hair opinion!) BJ wants to help him out because BJ went through the same stage that Lee is in now. First step... getting Lee to drink beer instead of smirnoff...that's a major step right now!
Okay yeah being home is nice. We move this Thursday but we won't have a bed til Friday I don't think ^^;; dobedo... we can survive though! We need to get the cable modem set up on Monday because we found out we can't get DSL :\ Oh well! When DSL IS available... we'll deffinately be the first to jump on it ^^ (It's actually $10 cheaper). Which means we'll probably get some cable tv too.
Well I'm off for now. Probably get on mech assault and possibly play some more dark age.
I have the CHANCE TO GO TO E3!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 13th, 2002
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Thursday, December 12th, 2002
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.... *confused*
*hands the utility setup information to mother*
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Wednesday, December 11th, 2002
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We got the apartment at AMLI~~~~~ We move in Dec 19. Rent is only $650 a month (they dropped it $20 for us ^o^) and we didn't have to pay any admin or app fees (which saved $400).
Sooo now comes the interior design! BJ wants an asian feel. So I'm shopping around for asian style fabric so I can cover the dining room chairs and the couch pillows. Also I need some curtains. I have enough Geisha dolls to do for some decent decoration. We can get an asian style tree...and mom mentioned seeing a bedspread with geishas on it in a magazine we might get. Anyone have any suggestions on interior design fabric shops online or in the ATL area? Or just ideas for an asian style apartment in general? We have access to one of those knealing tables but..nah.. I like my chairs *lol*
PrettyBlueMana- (are you still on LJ o.O? or did you somehow get taken off my friends list.. I haven't heard from you in a while!) You asian styled your apt right? Any tips or pictures?? ^_^
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Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.
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Should I attempt to join the wonderful world of cosplay.com? I figured I'd ask you guys first....would Elly get in over her head after one visit to the msg boards? I haven't heard tooo many good things about it at all. I would kinda like to know everyone again because I've lost contact w/ so many of you! I read your livejournals but never actually talk to ya and yeah... I wanna be goofy! I want cosplay buddies!!! I lost em all when I went through that tough snippet of real life a few months back ^^;;
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Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.
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...Elly is going to cosplay again.
But not a character... a gaming system. Just wait and see in a couple months..
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 9th, 2002
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| Time: | 3:21 am. |
| Mood: |  tired. |
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Hrm I'm such an odd person. I wish I could figure myself out!
The smallest things make me feel uneasy and kill my self esteem for the moment. They don't make me unhappy...just kinda 'quiet' all of a sudden.
Like I posted a comment in G's journal. (Heh this is nowhere near an anti anyone post--let me make that clear first ^^;) Someone made an ironic lil snip about Yaya. And I had a dream the other night just like it. The dream could sound anti-yaya but actually I think it was anti-psychotic fanboys.
(even if she did die in it. heh... I felt bad for her dying though! She had a heart attack. A group of ppl were cheering and dancing and I was like "WTF is WRONG with you people??? She wasn't that BAD!" and then Yayas fanboys tried to sue me for wanting to be like her. Really weird dream. I guess maybe it's the whole thing about me always finding it so hard to be neutral to both sides. I either have to defend her or hate her or else piss everyone ELSE off. But that was so long ago. Has nothing to do with anything recent o.o)
But yeah I posted a small snippet when someone made a not-so-rude yaya joke type thing. Basically somethin' like "I had a dream she was getting ready to sue me...but she died... then her fanboys went crazy and tried. But it's weird because I really haven't thought about her for 6 months." I thought the whole 'really weird' comment would make it clear that i wasn't being anti-yaya....just stating something.
Ah G didn't like it. I mean, I guess it's easy to see it able to start a flame war. *I* didn't see it that way...but then again the people who are out to start them look at every little thing. G wasn't mean about telling me or anything...not at all out of line. She had every right to! She just asked us not to continue the post thread.
But why should I feel bad about saying it? I mean, wouldn't a "Sorry! Didn't mean to! ^_^" suffice? But for some reason I dwell on it and it makes me feel kind of insecure. I can't just let it go that I 'disappointed' her. I mean this happens all the time. It's not like it happened cause I idolize G or anything (even though I do admire her skill). It happens with ANYONE. This is just an example. It's such a little thing. I guess I just have a terrible guilt complex, and I know I do at times. Anyone have suggestions in getting over lil things like that? It's crazy but little things like this make me lose sleep because I can't stop thinking about them. My mind races a thousand miles a minute when I try to sleep...about EVERY little thing I've done wrong to someone else...or how people have done huge things wrong to me (I'm still dwelling on the whole roommate thing :\ I still lose sleep over how out of line those girls were). I just wish I could be like BJ... and just fall asleep wherever I wanted.
But it's a trivial thing. I dunno why I wanted any of you to know... I guess I thought maybe by writing it down I could figure something out. Actually writing about it did make me feel a little bit less guilty. Or perhaps someone will have the divine truth to make this little irk in my personality all better! *rofl* Ya never know...
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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angelbelial's journal
pissed off.